Love Me When I'm Gone. Chapter One.

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I blinked and looked around, wondering what I was doing in the highschool gym. There were a bunch of kids in one corner, but it looked like the usual lunch-hour movie crowd.

Feeling disoriented, I turned away and spotted a familiar stocky figure going up the tower stairs.

I started forward eagerly, only to run into the karate club as they came in. By the time I'd pushed through the curious questions and fascinated teenage boys my quarry was out of sight. Feeling the old fear of losing someone rise up inside me, I bolted up the first two flights of steps and caught sight of him two turns up.

"Wolvie!" I called breathlessly, throwing back my cloak to keep from overheating.

He didn't stop, but he slowed down enough for me to catch up, and I walked beside him up the rest of the flights, blinking in the bright sunlight that reflected on the off-white walls. We didn't say anything till we'd walked across the floor and leaned our elbows on the wide window ledge.

"So yer back," he said at last, not turning from the endless row of Sahara dunes below us.

"Yeah." My hand went up to play with a leaf-shaped brooch at my throat. I noticed that I was shaking slightly.

"Remember anythin' this time?" He absently chased a fruitfly across the glass with his finger.

"No." I looked at this new gap in my memory and felt depressed. "How long was I gone?"

"Nearly a year." His voice was low.

"A year." I grabbed the window ledge as the room took a gut-wrenching slow spin.

He turned and put a hand under my arm. "Steady."

"Then Rae 'n Brock's baby's born. And I wasn't here ta help." My voice sounded as empty as I felt.

Logan sighed and pulled me close. "'T's okay, they understand. Rae was just waitin' fer ya ta get back 'n see little Ro."

I felt the worn denim of his jacket get wet under my cheek and realized that I was crying from disappointment and reaction. It wasn't blasted fair! If I could just remember what had gone on while I was gone...

Logan smoothed my hair and put his hand on the back of my neck in the old comforting way, resting his forehead against mine.

We stood there like that for a little while, but then my eighteen-year-old dignity asserted itself and I pushed away gently. "Thanks, Wolvie."

"No problem, darlin'." He wiped a tear off my cheek with the side of his thumb. "They're gonna be glad t' see ya."

"Ro... they named her after Aunt Storm."

"Yeah."

I glanced at him quickly as I caught the pained rasped in his voice. "She's been gone a long time."

"Five years, darlin'." He stared at the past for a few minutes, then shook his head and pulled lightly on my cloak. "Let's get ya home 'n inta some regular clothes."

I looked down at myself for the first time, noting the brown tunic and pants, and the knee-high brown boots that looked and smelled like they'd been through a swamp.

"Woah." I rubbed my finger over the eagle-head pommel of the sword that hung from a belt shaped like a string of silver leaves.

Wolvie cracked a half-grin. "Know how ta use it?"

"Yeah," I said with quiet conviction, feeling myself shift my weight to the balls of my feet.

"We'll haveta see how good y' are some time." He poked at the leaf brooch thoughtfully. "That's pretty. Wonder what th' cloak's made 'a."

"Maybe Brock can tell." I looked down at myself thoughtfully, realizing that I smelled like I hadn't had a bath in days. "How's Noah?"

I looked up and saw Wolvie flinch and scowl. "What?"

He turned back to the window and squashed the fruitfly. "He's gone, darlin'."

"Gone where?" I frowned.

"He left ta join the guerillas. Nobody's heard from 'im since."

I shook my head, trying to absorb what he'd said.

Then I swore and punched the wall. "The diry..! He said he'd always wait!"

"Hey!" Wolvie grabbed my hands. "Knockin' things apart ain't gonna help."

I just stared at him impassively, waiting for him to let me go.

He gave me a little shake. "Knock it off. Come on, let's go home."

I sighed and mentally let Noah go. Yet another loved one lost to the storm of war. "Weren't you up here for somethin'?"

"Just ta think." He herded me gently down the stairs, across the gym, and out of the school, then out into the sunlit Mall. People glanced at me curiously as we passed, but the citizens of Haven were too used to weird happenings to wonder about someone dressed like a rennaissance fair refugee.

It felt good to be back in the quiet little side-hall that led to home. The grey metal door to our apartment seemed like the gates of Paradise to my tired eyes.

Wolvie opened it and pushed me through, then followed me inside. Our suite was in the oldest section of Haven, and the entry hall was so narrow that he always walked down it turned slightly sideways.

He stopped now so that I could get into my room and looked in after me. "What do ya wanna eat?"

I blinked as the image of sweet, crunchy bread rose up in my mind's eye. "We have any meat?"

"'Course." He grinned at me. "Y' want some sugar cereal too?"

"Of course." I grinned back. "With chocolate milk."

He shook his head, the grin widening. "Yer as bad as yer mother. Hurry 'n get cleaned up."

I felt myself beaming at the old compliment as I slid the door shut and turned to strip off my clothes, setting the brooch, belt, and sword in the niche over the drawers and pitching the rest into the hamper. It was hard not to just crawl into my bunk with the afghan Aunt Jean had made me and pass out, but I resisted the temptation and pulled out my ratty old robe instead, then paused to frown at myself in the mirror.

A stocky girl with short black curls and skin the colour of coffee with miklk frowned back from almond-shaped blue eyes, her African/Asian face impassive.

I raised an eyebrow at the reflection, noticing new muscles and new scars. Rubbing one thoguhtfully, I winced at the pressure of my fingers on the scab. It looked like whatever had caused it had barely missed my right kidney.

I felt that hollow sensation in the pit of my gut as the hair on my arms prickled. I'd nearly died somewhere, in some fight that I couldn't even remember. What would that have done to Wolvie? Or to Brock?

Scowling, I turned away and pulled the robe over my head, then went across the hall and had a long shower, scrubbing with the lufa till my skin tingled and stung.

I guess here's as good a time as any to tell you who and what I am.

My name is Kimber Lee. Lee was my mother's last name; I guess she thought it'd be funny to give me a first name that sounded like it was part of the second one, the way hers did. A lot of people who don't know the story think that I really am Wolvie's daughter on account of how I'm built ("little brick outhouse", Cain Marko likes to say), but he adopted me when I was two years old, after my parents were killed while destroying a Sentinel base. He and Uncle Chuck say that my shortness and blue eyes come from my mother, and my muscles and kinetic energy absorption come from my father, though he could blow stuff up with it and I just push things.

That's right, bub. I'm a mutant. X gene positive. And dang proud of it. Both my parents were mutants. So are my friends. And Wolvie and Uncle Chuck. Most of us are, here in Haven.


* * *


I finally got out of the shower and pulled on a clean shirt and jeans back in my room. Then I followed the smell of cooking beef into the kitchen and found Wolvie chatting with a tall, red-haired girl as he cooked.

"Rae!" I said, tossing aside the towel I'd been drying my hair with.

"Kimmie!" She lept to her feet, and the next thing I knew I was holding about eighteen pounds in my hands.

I stared down at the tiny person in shock, and she stared back from big hazel eyes for a few minutes, then wiggled that she wanted to be held closer.

I held her to my chest, still feeling a little dazed as she slobbered a kiss on my cheek and then snuggled her head into the crook of my neck. "Wow... She's friendly."

"Not really," laughed Rae, hugging us both. "But I've been telling her about you since before she was born..." Her voice sounded full of tears. "Oh, Kimmie, I'm so glad you're back!"

"Me too," I said hoarsely, holding litlte Ro close. "I just wish I knew for sure I was staying."

Rae stepped back and looked at me, her green eyes full of sympathy. "Uncle Charles is still working on that. He's on Shi'ar right now studying temporal anomaly theory."

"Temper-what?" I sat on my stool at the counter and poured myself a heaping bowl of Sugar Rocks.

"Rifts in space and time. Gates to other places." Rae reached over and gently pried a handful of cereal out of Ro's little fat hand.

"How does he know that's what's causing it?" I crushed a Sugar Rock in the spoon with my thumb, then added chocolate milk and fed it to Ro, who smacked appreciatively.

"I didn't want her to have refined sugar yet." Rae frowned as she stepped aside so Wolvie could set my steak and fried potatoes in front of me.

"Sugar's good for you," I said, giving the baby some more.

"You wanna ask Grace?" Wolvie squeezed back past Rae.

I nodded and did so quickly before Ro could burn herself, then stuffed a huge bite of meat into my mouth.

"Yer gonna burn yerself," warned Wolvie, offering Rae some steak.

"Already did." I grabbed the cereal bowl and drank out of it as she shook her head no thanks.

Wolvie snorted and started to eat out of the pan as he stood in front of the stove.

Rae looked at him wryly and sat on his stool, then turned back to me. "Just don't give her any steak. She hasn't got teeth yet."

"Whoops." I stuck my finger in the baby's mouth. Ro scowled and closed her gums down on it as hard as she could, but I got the bit of soggy meat out and flipped it into the disposal. "Can she have potato?" I asked as she started to yell.

"Yes. Here." Rae grabbed my fork and mashed some potato into the gravy on my plate, then scooped it into Ro's mouth. "Now stop crying, sweetheart. Isn't that good?"

I grinned as Ro's little mouth worked like crazy, then gently rubbed her hand, noticing that it was only a few shades lighter than my own. "That's the stuff, eh, darlin'?"

She glanced up at me, then turned back to Rae and opened her mouth like a baby bird.

"Reminds me 'a you," said Wolvie, handing me another fork.

I blinked and looked down at my plate, awkwardly thanking God for letting me come back safely.

"...but maybe he's not as bad anymore."

"Huh?" I frowned at Rae. "Who?"

She frowned back. "Didn't you hear anything I said?"

"Nope. I was thinkin' about somethin' else."

She gave me the raised eyebrow for a few minutes, then spooned more mushed potatoes into Ro's mouth.

"She was sayin' that yer one proff from last term's ben replaced," said Wolvie, frowning.

"Which one?" I looked down as Ro latched onto the side of my hand and sucked like crazy.

"Tomton."

I winced as something sharp grazed my thumb. "You sure she doesn't have teeth? Who's the replacement?"

"Duncan McTaggart." He opened the cookie jar and looked in, face inscrutable.

I looked up in alarm. "The guy that wouldn't leave Mom alone? I thought he'd gone back to Shi'ar to go before the court. Didn't they sentence him?"

"'E's supposed ta be rehabilitated." Wolvie took out a Fig Newton and bit it moodily. "Moira'd have kept 'im in line if she was here. She never took crap from anybody." He shook his head. "She fought tooth 'n nail t' git that punk on the last emigrant ship t' Shi'ar."

I looked at him, remembering the story of the human woman who had worked to find a cure for the legacy virus, only to end up dying of it herself. She'd been close to Uncle Chuck once, before he and the Shi'ar Empress had married. To me she was another legend, like Piotre Rasputin, Magneto, Rogue, Remy Lebeau, and all the other people who'd fought and died for Uncle Chuck's dream. Like my parents.

"You know," said Rae sharply. "It's hard to have a conversation when everyone else in the room is miles away."

I exchanged a guilty glance with Wolvie, then turned back to her. "Sorry."

She raised an eyebrow and grinned. "You two are a pair of a kind."

"'N yer the spittin' image 'a yer mother." Wolvie chuckled. "If she were here th' two 'a ya'd..." He broke off, looking very amused.

"Fight constantly," finished Rae. "We fight just fine long distance, thank you. And Dad fusses, and Nate fusses. I'm quite happy with the way things are, though I'd feel a lot better if they weren't in such constant danger."

I remembered wehn she was six and Brock and I were eight, the day Uncle Scott and Aunt Jean had left Haven to go back to the X-men. I'd been bawlling my head off, but Rae was cool as a cucumber, grinning and waving through the window as the Blackbird left the hanger.

I snorted at the memory and went back to the subject of Duncan McTaggart. "He can't pull anything even if he wants to. There'll be eyes on him all over."

"Yeah." Wolvie put the lid back on the cookie jar and reached for my empty dishes.

I k-pushed them over to him, then looked to see why Ro felt so heavy and limp and found that she was asleep, drooling down my wrist.

"You know, that seems like a really good idea," I said, feeling my eyes sting with tiredness. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Three thirty." Rae gently took her little daughter and cuddled her close. "But you should probably rest. You look exhausted."

"Feels like I've ben fightin' with an elephant." I rubbed the scab over my kidney and grimaced.

"Come see Brock tomorrow after school." The look in Rae's eyes told me that she'd picked up on my thoughts about the scars.

I frowned as I realized what else I'd missed while I was gone. "Right. He's set up practise now."

She nodded. "Uncle Logan gave him the gift you'd picked. He really appreciated it."

"I can't even remember what it was, now." I rubbed my face, then caught myself as I fell into a quick doze.

"Bed," said Wolvie, going into the living room so that we could get past.

I got up, then froze as the kitchen disappeared and I was suddenly looking down at a satellite receiver sticking up out of the sand.

Frowning, I glanced around and felt a chill as I saw the familiar walls of the Convent raising up above me.

Bomb, I realized

"Bomb." I looked around the kitchen, feeling disoriented.

"What?" Wolvie put his head out of the living room.

"Where?" asked Rae urgently.

"In the sand behind the Convent. It's got a satellite thing on it."

Rae exchanged a glance with Wolvie, then closed her eyes and nodded. "It's there. They did it."

"Can ya see when it's set ta blow?" Wolvie called from the hall.

She nodded again, and I heard Wolvie growl and slam the door.

Rae patted Ro, who'd jumped and whimpered, then turned to me. "What happened, Kimmie?"

"Did I disappear?" I asked, my face expressionless, though I was shaking so hard that I had to lean on the counter.

"No. I felt something else next to you for a minute, and then you said, 'bomb'."

"I saw it. Like a dream." I swallowed, feeling dizy, then grabbed a handful of Sugar Rocks out of the box and ate them methodically. "What kind of 'something else'?"

Rae shrugged apologetically. "I don't know. I couldn't hear any thoughts." She looked at me with concern, then shifted Ro to one arm and hooked the other under mine. "Come on and lay down before you fall down."

"Rae, I just got visited by some unknown thing and saw some kind of vision. Now you expect me ta go to sleep like nothin' weird happened?"

She pushed me into my bunk and telekenetically pulled off my shoes. "Kimmie, I've got a sister that I've never seen, who is actually an older version of me, and who shows up every once in awhile as a smart aleck comment in someone's mind. Whatever that was didn't hurt you. And God's bigger than it anyway."

I frowned at her blearily as my afghan covered me. "Does all that come down ta tellin' me not ta worry?"

She grinned. "Yup."

I scowled sleepily, then sighed and tangled my fingers through the afghan. "Stick around?"

"I have to go and check my yeast cultures," she said. "But I'll keep our link open, okay?"

I nodded reluctantly, pushing away the fear. I'm not bein' left behind!

-No. You're not.- Rae's eyes darkined slightly. -Now go to sleep.-

-Yes, Mom.- I tried to grin, but wasn't sure if I succeeded.

I heard my door slide shut and sighed, still not wanting to sleep. -Um, Jesus? I don't know how much I've ben talkin' ta You lately, but I know that before I left I wasn't doin' it very often. Come ta think of it I guess I was talkin' ta You about as much as I talked ta anyone, other than Wolvie, Brock, Rae, and Noah. And now Noah's gone.- I swallowed, fighting to keep my eyes open. -Take care of him, please. Don't let him do anythin' stupid. And take care of Wolvie too. I know he's a lot harder ta kill, but a little help never hurt.-

-Kimmie, go to sleep.-

-I'm prayin', Rae.-

-You're stalling. God knows what needs to be done.-

-He likes it when we talk ta Him.-

-He likes it when you take care of yourself! Go to sleep.-

-Jesus, I...-

-SLEEP!-

-...-

-That's better.-