oldMal's Serenity: Infirmary

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"I don't think he can do it," Jayne said with an air of finality.

He and Zoe were standing outside the infirmary, looking through the window. Both he and Zoe had decided that the tense atmosphere and the smell were too much for them. Of course, every time Mal made a sound Zoe had run back in, much to Jayne's general displeasure.

"Don't you dare," Zoe countered, but Jayne cut her off.

"Look, it's too far gone. Cap'n told the Doc to save his leg and now lookit. It's gorram near ready to fall off. Doc should just hack it off 'fore the rest of him can't be saved."

Zoe fell quiet at that remark.

Perhaps Jayne was right...

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Dean sighed and set down the roll of bandaging he'd been using, then glanced at the heartrate monitor and walked over to calmly wedge himself in the blind corner that the windows couldn't see and bang his head on the wall with weary frustration and despair. -I can't do it. I just can't do it.-

"Cap's gotta leave his past behind," said Sam suddenly from behind Zoe and Jayne. "He can't go forward till he does."

Message delivered, the lanky youth turned and walked away, pigs swirling around his knees.

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"Where'd he go?" she asked after Sam went away.

Jayne snorted. "Probably to stab himself with a scalpel."

"That's not funny."

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"Zoe," the dry rasp came from the table. "Don.... don' leave me. Zoe...."

Dean looked over his shoulder, then banged his head again and wiped at his eyes impatiently.

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And she was back in the room as though she'd never left. "I'm here," she said quietly, taking her place at Mal's side. "We're all here."

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Tortured blue eyes opened to actually look at her. "Burnin' up. What... what happened?"

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"Whaddya mean, it's time ta go?" Mal frowned. "Wait, no! No! I can't leave Zoe. She'd hunt me down and shoot my @#$%&$# iffin I did somethin' like that."

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Zoe simply tried hard not to laugh.

No use trying to explain it again.

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"No, Shepherd, ya don't understand. I love her." Mal blinked. "I can't leave her. Ask Wash."

Dean was a little 0_o as he wondered if he'd given the man too much painkiller.

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Zoe was wearing an equally confused look as what Mal said registered in her brain.

"Oh..." was all she managed to say.

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"No!" Mal looked stubborn, but then blinked and closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Out of my way!" barked Dean as the heart monitor whined.

Later

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Dean felt exhausted as he finished cleaning everything up and walked over to look down at the pale, still face of his patient.

"He'll be okay now," muttered Sam, the reality seeping out of his eyes as he listed slightly to one side. "Gotta go."

"Go?" Dean looked at him. "Where?"

"Bat@#$%&$#@." He giffled and walked out.

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Jayne heard the entire exchange and smirked to himself before elbowing Zoe in the ribs. She'd fallen asleep halfway through the procedure despite her best efforts to stay awake.

"Huh?"

"Doc's done."

"What?"

Jayne just chuckled.

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A hand suddenly snatched the bearded man's hat, followed by a manic laugh and the sound of boots retreating up the stairs.

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Zoe blinked as Jayne let out an inarticulate roar and ran off in pursuit.

And she was left alone, staring through the window at Mal, who was still laying there as though nothing had happened.

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"Go on in," said Sadie softly as she paused in the doorway. "He's still under the dope, but he might be able to figure yer there when he starts comin' out."

Dean, meanwhile, looked around and then gently pushed past the winged girl to do a faceplant on the couch and pass out as he realized how long it had been since he slept.

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He frowned and mustered the strength to look down at himself.

"Zoe?" his voice was very soft.

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She looked at him questioningly.

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His voice continued soft. "Where's my @#$%&$# leg?"

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"It was your leg or your life. I chose your life. You weren't fit to do much else but rant and rave."

Her face was flushed and she avoided his eyes.

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"What the @#$%&$# @#$%'m I supposedta do with only one leg!?" His attempt at a yell was pitiful.

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He cocked one bleary blue eye at her. "...Was bein' funny...."

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She folded her arms. "Lately it's been hard to tell."

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He sighed and muttered. "Sorry."

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"... it's okay."

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Mal stared at the ceiling for awhile, then turned his head slightly and looked at Zoe, his hand going out toward her.