John's Earth. St. Francis Memorial hospital.

[random_xtras]

((Started here))

The room is dim and silent except for a soft beeping and the sound of quiet breathing. There are two people in the room, one laying on the hospital bed, hooked to IVs, oxygen, and the heart monitor; the other slumped in the rocking chair next to the bed with a slightly blood-stained bandage wrapped around his head.

There's an odd peace surrounding the two men, one that makes the nurses who check on them do so siently and either linger or hurry away. But even with that hovering peace the face of the man in the chair is troubled, as though he walks in uneasy dreams.

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[omgtehrandom.livejournal.com]

He thought of making an argument, decided against it, partially because he doesn't like the idea of alienating the guy taking care of him, and two?

He just doesn't have the energy for it.

Dean slips his arms into the coat, thanking him.

"Yeah..." he starts, clearing his throat in an attempt to get rid of that raspiness in his throat. "My Sammy got taken from us when he was a baby by that thing." he starts, then stops, looking at John.

"You sure you wanna hear this?"

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"Hit me," he says grimly.

[omgtehrandom.livejournal.com]

Dean swallows, scratching his head, and taking a deep breath.

"Our mother was killed by the thing, and it tried to take dad." he starts. "He ordered me to run upstairs and get Sammy..." A beat. "By the time I got there, the thing had booked with my baby bro."

His jaw clenches. "Dad blamed me. Said I should've protected him. Said I wasn't a good enough brother, and it was my fault mom and Sammy were gone." He looks a bit haunted by that.

"It went on for years, with just me and dad hunting, him keeping me at arm's length, putting me in harm's way, but I always stayed to save his ass." Another beat, and a shaky breath. "Everything went to hell when Sammy showed up again, after having been raised by that thing, and he was...evil. He wanted us to be brothers again, and I told him no."

He looks over at John a little uncertainly. "Now he's in the business of making my life hell, and trying to make me see 'his' way of things."

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His face is pale and his jaw is set, but he reaches out to hug Dean close. "It wasn't your fault. That son of a @&$@$& had no right telling you that."

[omgtehrandom.livejournal.com]

And he's a bit startled by that, but he leans into it, swallowing hard.

"I..I uh..." he doesn't know what to say, so he just stays like that, not noticing the tears slipping down his cheeks.

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John rubs his back, speaking impulsively before his brain can tell him he's being weird. "I love you, son."

[omgtehrandom.livejournal.com]

And that's the final bit on top of everything that makes him break. He practically falls against him, the pain, and weakness hitting him hard.

"...Dad.." he sobs, clinging to the older Winchester. "I'm so sorry..."

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"You were six years old, barely more than a baby yourself." John's voice is a soft rumble as he closes his eyes and prays. "It wasn't your fault."

[omgtehrandom.livejournal.com]

He shakes his head, tears coming harder. "I wasn't strong enough to protect him." he cries. "My own brother, and I lost him...."

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"It wasn't your responsibility. It was your...." He chokes on calling the man what he hasn't been, a father. "Mine. His. It's not your fault."

[omgtehrandom.livejournal.com]

He just cries harder, clinging to him tightly. "...all I wanted was to be a good son..." he whimpers.

"...for him to love me..." he sobs. "...for him to say I was good enough...."