Clone City, Valley of the Queens

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"This... this is not funny."

With a voice devoid of accent Sal found herself suddenly not at home, returning to her living room after a bathroom break while watching reruns of Avatar: The Last Airbender. If the place had been a nexus or something she was more familiar with she would have been perfectly okay with the entire situation.

Except that this was not a room, not a nexus, and not a cafe. It was a cave. She wasn't a fan of caves. They were gross and earthy and just... well... gross. This cave wasn't drippy or anything, but she still didn't like it. She growled to herself and walked awhile until she found a large French door. Which was weird in and of itself. She wrenched it open and found her feet on green grass.

"Where the hell am I?" She looked around at the enormous valley spread out around her.

This is surreal...

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"Sal??" asked a familiar voice from a corner of the slightly overgrown terrace as Fi stood up to stare at her. "What... how...."

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And hearing that voice almost made Celeste drop.

"Yeah, that's what I'm wondering."

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"Explain what?" he asked uncertainly.

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Her eyes narrowed dangerously. Even with her baby-belly she looked deadly.

"Culling."

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"But... you never seemed to like anybody that way. I've seen Ang and her fiance... you never did anything like that with anybody." He frowned.

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"Not... on Kamino." Sal chose her words carefully. "But when I went back home, things changed."

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"They took Atin." His voice was low.

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Sal's face split into a grin. "No they didn't."

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"He shot himself." Fi looked up at her, his eyes showing how the sight had affected him.

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"But why?"

The look in Fi's eyes was making Sal very uncomfortable.

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"Jav said you were married, and that you were back on your homeworld," he noted a little awkwardly.

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"Yeah, that's right. So I come here and find you guys an' then decide it'd be a good idea to get vertigo." A grin. "Ye got 'em all here, eh?"

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"What, did Laseema come back from the dead, too?" His forehead furrowed.

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"Well, Atin never really died. He come close, but didn't die. And no. This be someone else."

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"We do, but I might have what we need already," said Fi. "What do we need? Tell me how the test goes."

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"Git yer standard blood-type-test kit an' see if you don't have assays t' test for the Burgite genome. Ye'll need the chromosome 21, E46 assay and the chromosome 4, J32 assay."

Sal sounded like a scientist, but this was actually common knowledge in most Burgite households, where the test was usually done.

"An' if ye don't have 'em ask a replicator for a standard Burgite affinity test kit."

She looked over at Kurt. "I hope this ain't scarin' the pants off ye. Welcome to the fascinatin' world of our genetics."

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"They all got themselves offed anyway!" He started to his feet, but then yelped as Fi suddenly pinned his arms and lifted him off his feet. "What the...?"

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Sal just folded her arms and made a face.

"Are you going to do whatever you want or should I just go home?"

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The jovial clone's face showed his surprise, then creased into a grin as the colours showed up clearly.

"Heh," said Kurt softly. "I'm not surprised. She'll be like Wolfen."

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"Guess now we needs t' get a sauna an' set to work fireproofin' the house."

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He tried to warm the jar in his hands, but then finally spread the clear jell over the swell of their unborn daughter. Fi, meantime, watched with great curiosity as Kal turned his back politely.

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Sal made a noise akin to a dying cow and socked Kurt in the side a few times.

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"Ach, no. That vouldn't look good on a girl. She needs to look like you, like Wolfen does," he disagreed gently.

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She laughed. "Yes, but what if she's blue? That doesn't look good on me."

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"That's your kid, alright," said Kal. "You almost done?"

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Sal looked sideways at Kal. "Why? Tryin' t' kick us out, or what?"

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"Ja." He rubbed her back with his tail as he took the cloth that Fi handed him and gently wiped the goop off her belly with it.

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Once done, she replaced her shirt and sat up, slowly.

The change in center of gravity made getting up after being down a little difficult.

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"Actually, now that you mention it...." The third blade sang to life.

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Sal frowned at Kurt, a very motherly expression on her face.

"What'd Sadri tell you about showin' off?"

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He shook his head and leaped down lightly, landing on all four and then shifting to a crouch while he nursed the injured foot, his grin telling just how badly he'd been injured.

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"You're lucky I can't lift me legs properly or I'd boot ye in the head."

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Kal came over with a tablespoon of dark brown goop. "Here."

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"What... oh..."

The spoon was dropped in her mug.

"Well, okay."

She had another taste. "Hmm. Better."

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"The lizard glows in the dark!" came the reply. "Come in and see? Um... I think we'll all fit."

"No..." Kal started to say, looking for somewhere to set his mug so he could storm out there and break it up.

Kurt concentrated on his notcoffee, his face a perfect deadpan.

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"I'm not going to say anything," Sal muttered into Kurt's sleeve. "Not sayin' nothin'. Nope, not a damn word."

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Vinnie walked over and poked her gently in the shoulder, then looked thoughtfully at her belly and at the way Kurt was holding her.

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Sal was really tired of explaining, so she looked meaningfully at Kal as though to say 'You can handle this one'.

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"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Kal gruffly, shoving Lou back into the chair as he came back.

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She crooked a thumb in Kurt's direction. "He's a preacher. Or whatever."

Then she thought of Jeimu's hysterics again and snickered.

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His look said that he didn't really believe her, but he continued through the door and down the hall to the nearest teleportal, which he lead them through and into a large room that held a couple hundred clones all standing at attention in their ranks.

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Sal stared.

"Uh huh."

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"Have fun." Kal turned and headed for the door as the clones broke ranks and clustered around Sal and Kurt, some of them subtly trying to separate the two of them.

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Sal was too far gone with laughter to be productive.

"You're going to have to tell the story," she wheezed.

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"Screwed up?" Several pair of dark eyes turned back toward her.

"Ouch..." came from Kurt.

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"Oh come on. You guys all know that Ven was never the smartest cookie in the pickle."

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"Whaaat?" She was suddenly surrounded by 0_o expressions. Even the guys hazing Kurt paused to look toward her.

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"I'd know," Sal said. "I was there when it happened."

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"Well, if they got married..." said the guy talking to Celeste reasonably. "And you did...."

"Hey... Sal's husband's stuck to the wall," said one of the guys that had been hazing Kurt.

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"That's.... not how it works."